Not looking for temporary or conditional
I used to let pieces of my truth fall away so that I could fit neatly into spaces not truly meant for me. I don't mean "truth" as in "truth vs lie", I mean "truth" as in "authentic expression, unbiased and uninhibited by the other". The law of attraction is a simple thing, but it requires me to stay centered in my truth. The vibration of my truth is the single most powerful thing I can hold onto in times of "break through".
2020 has been a series of rapid changes and waves of awakening. I've spent the last 2 years uprooting every aspect of my life that was a glaring betrayal. The list of everything I've lost could keep me up at night. But the thing is, I just keep on manifesting and I just keep becoming more and more aligned. See, if I were to keep my focus on everything that has fallen away, that loss would multiply. Instead I see opportunities, I see space for expansion.
There's only one thing that I need to remember having lost--and that's my Self. It took so much effort trying to be enough for everyone else. Like they handed me a beautiful shell to live within, but it was 2 sizes too small--and I am still growing. Denying the beauty of the shell would be remiss. Being ungrateful for the generous offering would be shameful. Blessed with beauty and generosity, I am still longing for my needs to be recognized.
I have crawled from the shell of the "other" and into the shell of my "truth". Beauty and generosity are things I came into this life with, on my own accord. While they are 2 things I treasure and vibrate towards; both have become temporary and conditional. Temporary and conditional feel like obligations rather than manifestations of an inner state. That shit just isn't for me any longer.
Vibrating at my highest means constant and unconditional commitment to my Self now. It means constantly gauging and monitoring my needs, wants, thoughts and fears. It is a constant diagnostic experience, in which I am regulating my reactions to the energy that I have attracted back into my existence. My current conditions externally reflect my current conditions internally. Things are shaping up, inside & out. It's been a painfully beautiful ride and I couldn't possibly step off yet.
Current Mantras: I am in love with this moment. I am in love with my existence. I am blessed beyond reason. I see clearly, the connection I have to Source. I manifest anything that I want from the Universe. I am an endless source of healing and power.
I love us, Q