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The High Priestess & her Rituals: Beauty & Grooming


It can be fun reflecting on the experiences that make up the collage of my lived experience. Since my birthday last month, I have been spiritually called into mirror work (& body work), reflection & taking on new perspectives. I have been on the hunt for hanging mirrors to add to my home decor, I have plans to add a "studio style" mirrored wall to my new living space, spending more time identifying the new aspects of my Self that have evolved out of the last year(s)...


After my most recent experience performing in my burlesque troupes Debut Revue, I realized how intentional I am about my grooming and beauty process. Some of my most joyful memories from my childhood years involve sitting with the women of my family during their morning routines. There are a few common threads that have held together the cloth that the Singer women are cut from. My morning ritual and beauty process may be the most important time I spend with my Self each day. In fact, I am going to argue that it is THE MOST IMPORTANT time we spend with our Selves each day.


In the not so distant past, my life quite literally felt like it was spinning out of control. I was deeply disconnected from my Self, felt deeply uprooted and I needed to desperately isolate so that I could return to myself. I had lost quite a bit--and I had to genuinely take stock of what little I had left. Through meditation and reflection--I landed in a place of realizing that even if the only thing I had left was my Self and my kids, I would have everything I ever needed. That realization led to the remembering that if I had my Self, I had everything that I had ever experienced supporting my next level.


I certainly don't intend on taking every awful thing from my history into my future, but I am loving the sifting through old memory boxes and unearthing the mysteries of my own becoming. The theme of cycles holds true for all of natural life forms and I have felt it deeply in the process of self therapy. Self therapy, is a process I would describe as the humanistic, holistic and independent process of creating safe channels for the expressing of emotions and the experiencing of pleasure; and is primarily guided by the super-ego, or by the process of accessing the super-ego.


But one piece of my personal history that I fondly return to greets me each day to remind me that I have purpose, that I am worthy of delicate, intentional care and that I am in control of the way the world sees me and how I feel on the inside. The power I find in my daily grooming process has transformed my outlook on my Self, my identity and my place in this crazy world. I sit and hesitate to spell out my daily routines for you--because the process has become so sacred to me. I've spent years weaving in the perfect elements, re-experiencing different orders of operations, adjusting for the day's events and taking advantage of the times when I can lean in a little deeper or even find an abbreviated version to reduce time spent, without losing the essential essence of the process.


My advice is simple--start your day with things that help you feel aligned. It could be what you're eating or drinking, what you're listening to, how much time to have to move from one step to the next, connecting with loved ones or pets, engaging in artful expressions and reflections, spending time in nature, recording dreams or simply setting a few reasonable intentions and organizing for the day ahead of you. Be ready for this process to be flexible and fun! This should be the time of day when you can claim the version of your Self that you are willing and able to offer to the world (or maybe not even the world, but just to offer in general). These are the sweet moments we return to for reminding, rejuvenating, restoring & refreshing.


Soft fabrics, warm consumables, a hot shower on sleepy skin, the scents in the air, the brightness of the lighting around you...these are all elements that enhance or detract from your waking experience (and that you generally have some level of control over). My advice is empower your Self into your day, affirm your Self into your day, treat your Self with comfort and care each morning. In fact, treat yourself like a loving grandmother would treat you on the morning after sleeping over. Mine would have pancakes, sausage and coffee going in the kitchen, filling the rest of the house with the most amazing aromas, music on the big tavern style Juke-box that lived in the main living room, the table set with my precious tea cups, Pop had his vitamins and his newspapers, and Nana got us all ready before she did herself (so she could take her sweet time). And spray me with her perfume. and spritz my curls with her hairspray. Her final touch always being her lipstick. She had a drawer filled with her favorite brand and almost every shade they had--and some days she would let me choose a color that we would both wear. Blotting on a single square of toilet paper, folded in half and pressed firmly between our lips.


As I've spent some time the last couple of months reflecting and taking stock--I recognize the collage of my life and it's elements are emerging clearer, that patterns aren't so subtle & I am able to step back from each individual moment to see the big picture and to begin to forge the way forward. Start ritualizing loving your days. Start creating daily habits that are fuel your joi de'vivre. Mirror work y'all...


xoxo Q

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